What can I say except that I’m an imperfect sinner, and that I’m working with God to make it better?
But yesterday, in one of the rare days the weather was beautiful this time of year, I decided to go take a walk. Just up and down our rather long driveway, back and forth, back and forth, relaxing, taking in the fresh air, trying to avoid the large mud puddles in my path. And somewhere along the way I just felt an urge to pray. There was no thought leading up to it, just the sudden realization that what better could I do in those moments than talk with God?
So I did, and I covered so many of my hurts and requests and joys it felt amazing! So amazing to once again pour my heart out to my savior. For once my mind didn’t wander into the earthly realm, as I just enjoyed the minutes, sometimes crying, sometimes wanting to dance with joy. I solved quite a few of my problems out there on that long driveway. I realized that what God wanted me to do at this moment (something I’ve been trying to figure out for ages it seems) was just to help around the house and be joyful to those around me in this chaotic time of moving. I realized that I’m not as friendless as I sometimes feel, because I have a wonderful friendship with my brother and sister and my loving parents. I realized that whenever I needed to poor my heart out to someone, God is there to cover me with his love and tender comforts.
It was a joy, a blessing, the highlight of my week, and so so many other things. And it helped me to get my prayer life back on track and remember what it really is: taking everything before God, sometimes asking, sometimes just pouring out the conflicts and joys of our hearts, and sometimes just silently listening or worshiping.
I would recommend you find time to take a walk with God, even if your prayer life is better than mine, for no matter what you are going through it is pure bliss and brings such great peace that will sustain you through the terrible parts of life.
Go with God,